Our domestic worker Jennifer is from Zimbabwe but has lived and worked in South Africa for about 10 years. She moved here with her family because of the lack of job opportunities in her country for both her and her husband, France. Her English is quite good so we will often have lengthly conversations about our lives, cultures and the differences between America, Zimbabwe, and South Africa. I'm sure she has no idea that our conversations are often my favourite time of the day. I've never had the opportunity to spend so much time with someone from a background and culture so vastly different from mine. Today while we were eating lunch and chatting and really out of no where she says what sounds like, "France has to finish his Ebola." WAIT WHAT!?
No that didn't actually come out of my mouth but for a split second I though Oh S**T. After a few questions and her repeating herself multiple times (remember she has a very thick accent and English is not her first language). I found out that her husband, France is not legally her husband yet because he has not completed the Lobola. Jennifer is a few years older than I am and her oldest child is 12 years but she is not able to get married because her husband is still working on paying what is essentially a "dowery." She explained that the Lobola is a set amount of money that is paid to the woman's parents before marriage. After they dated for about 1 year they decided to get married so he started the process by paying part of the fee and has been working on completing the rest of the requirements ever since. He has bought his future mother in law a new suit for example and for the final requirement he must by her a cow. A cow apparently costs about 400-500 US dollars so they are hoping to save up and purchase the cow next year. I asked her if they thought of just throwing in the towel and getting married in their church without finishing the Lobola. But as so many cultural traditions are, it is very important to them and their family, so they will wait and continue to save money. Once the Lobola is complete they will get married in their church and finally be able to wear wedding rings.
Thursday, 30 October 2014
Thursday, 9 October 2014
Five surprising things about parenting in South Africa
1. No Shoes No Problem
You know the expression, No Shoes No Shirt No Service! Well in South Africa shoes are optional. It is common to see shoeless children at the grocery store, a restaurant or the park. Jonah is shoeless at school all day I suspect because every day when I pick him up he has bare feet. I am the only mom that puts on his shoes at pick up so that he does not walk to the car in this bare feet. I assume I will get used to it over time but I still have a difficult time allowing him to walk around without shoes on. Because of the no shoe lifestyle here, it is recommended that parents deworm the whole family at least twice a year!
2. Lots of Help
Shortly after we moved into our house we hired a full time domestic worker. Jennifer cleans our house and helps out with the kids Monday-Friday. Before we moved, I had heard that most Americans employ a domestic worker. Naturally I thought to myself, "I am going to be a stay at home mom so why would I need full time help?" We decided we would hire someone 2 days a week to clean and even help 2 days a week seemed like it would be a luxury. However once we arrived and interviewed Jennifer it became apparent that she needed full time work to support her family. I know it may seem strange to my family and friends in America, but here in South Africa we are giving someone a job that really needs one. I am so happy that we decided to employ Jennifer. She has quickly become part of the family and Mira especially loves her. It has allowed me to exercise each day, shop without the kids, and spend time making new friends.
Jonah showing Jennifer how to use Photo Booth on the Mac
3. No Need for Child Restraints
I'm not exactly sure what the carseat laws ( I googled it but could not find clear information) are here but they either do not exist or are not enforced. Children rarely use a carseat or seatbelt. Not only are they not restrained, I am not exaggerating when I say that they are literally hanging out the windows and sunroofs. The public health professional and mom in me wants to scream, ARE YOU CRAZY to their parents.
4. Trampolines for Everyone
We toured a school for Jonah that was also a daycare. The teacher showed us the infant room (up to about 1.5 years) and the playground area off of that room had a trampoline. Yep a trampoline (in the ground with bricks around it) for babies! I just read an article about how a school in America removed swings from the playground for safety reasons. I suspect that America's litigious ways have something to do with that decision. The playground equipment shocked me at first but I am hoping for the best.
5. Eating Dinner in Peace
In America there are playgrounds at Fast Food Restaurants but in South Africa there are playgrounds at restaurants that we actually want to dine at and they serve alcohol. So while Jonah runs around, we can actually talk.
Notice Jonah on the slide behind us
You know the expression, No Shoes No Shirt No Service! Well in South Africa shoes are optional. It is common to see shoeless children at the grocery store, a restaurant or the park. Jonah is shoeless at school all day I suspect because every day when I pick him up he has bare feet. I am the only mom that puts on his shoes at pick up so that he does not walk to the car in this bare feet. I assume I will get used to it over time but I still have a difficult time allowing him to walk around without shoes on. Because of the no shoe lifestyle here, it is recommended that parents deworm the whole family at least twice a year!
2. Lots of Help
Shortly after we moved into our house we hired a full time domestic worker. Jennifer cleans our house and helps out with the kids Monday-Friday. Before we moved, I had heard that most Americans employ a domestic worker. Naturally I thought to myself, "I am going to be a stay at home mom so why would I need full time help?" We decided we would hire someone 2 days a week to clean and even help 2 days a week seemed like it would be a luxury. However once we arrived and interviewed Jennifer it became apparent that she needed full time work to support her family. I know it may seem strange to my family and friends in America, but here in South Africa we are giving someone a job that really needs one. I am so happy that we decided to employ Jennifer. She has quickly become part of the family and Mira especially loves her. It has allowed me to exercise each day, shop without the kids, and spend time making new friends.
3. No Need for Child Restraints
I'm not exactly sure what the carseat laws ( I googled it but could not find clear information) are here but they either do not exist or are not enforced. Children rarely use a carseat or seatbelt. Not only are they not restrained, I am not exaggerating when I say that they are literally hanging out the windows and sunroofs. The public health professional and mom in me wants to scream, ARE YOU CRAZY to their parents.
4. Trampolines for Everyone
We toured a school for Jonah that was also a daycare. The teacher showed us the infant room (up to about 1.5 years) and the playground area off of that room had a trampoline. Yep a trampoline (in the ground with bricks around it) for babies! I just read an article about how a school in America removed swings from the playground for safety reasons. I suspect that America's litigious ways have something to do with that decision. The playground equipment shocked me at first but I am hoping for the best.
5. Eating Dinner in Peace
In America there are playgrounds at Fast Food Restaurants but in South Africa there are playgrounds at restaurants that we actually want to dine at and they serve alcohol. So while Jonah runs around, we can actually talk.
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